So I journey out to the grocery this a.m.--the morning after the biggest snowfall (11 inches) in N. Texas since records kept. I knew what I was getting into but still, what a whipping it has become to go to the grocery.
Gone is the Grocery Store Code that I grew up with in the '70s. Similar to the code of the samurai or kung fu, it has eroded away the past two decades and has been replaced by what looks like a giant mound of fire ants--people running to and fro without courtesy and regard for others. Times have truly changed.
What was the Grocery Store Code? The following is my interpretation as it applied to both customers and employees AND what it has come to now.
1. You are there to shop
In the old days people actually went to the store to shop for food. Today both male and female alike frequently decide to park their carts in the middle of the aisle and yak loudly on the phone. Get out of the way! Those with bluetooths talk loud enough to be heard over the roar of a jet engine. Hey, the phone is next to your ear! Why are you talking so loud about nothing that is urgent AND weaving your freaking cart in the middle of the aisle.
My solution is try go shopping at the crack of dawn Sunday mornings to avoid the crowd and talkers. I am a speed shopper. I go with my list and coupons ready. I can make it in and out in 10 minutes. I get nasty looks when I impatiently weave in and out of the "slow shopper" but could care less. Hey, it's my NASCAR simulator.
2. Observe all posted signs
If the express lane says 20 items or less don't park your cart in line that has enough groceries to outfit the Brady Bunch. This goes to the employees too. If one of these people comes to your line say something! Tell them politely to go to another line! Instead what I see is the employee/zombie go ahead and take them, to the chagrin and ire of those of us behind them.
3. Leave your kids at home
Researchers say that bringing your kids causes you to buy more and give into their impulses, thus costing you more. My thought: screaming kids don't belong in a store. Most of us there don't need to hear your child (not just toddlers but teenagers) cry and scream that that are mad at not getting to get their candy or treats. Especially at the checkout line where it looks like an episode of the old Jerry Springer show with parent shouting at (or slapping) a child. I can tolerate a lot being an elementary teacher but come on--if I can hear your child screaming across the store it is getting ridiculous.
4. Have your money ready
Checks are pretty much gone and most people pay either cash or debit/credit card. It is such a whipping seeing people wait until they hear the total to get their wallet or purse out. Then they dig in their for a minute to find their card, swipe it, and then figure out the hieroglyphics of the keypad to get their cashback. Then they take another minute to put it back in their purse.
5. Mind your space
Nothing hacks me more than people invading my space. I am standing at the pedestal watching the cashier and then the person behind me will saddle right up to me. They need to wait their turn. Several times I've been tempted to say something like, "Do you mind?" Maybe next time I should make them uncomfortable by singing a rendition of the Love Boat theme.
6. Do your job
It whips me when I am waiting in a long line and a new cashier opens up and does not do the right and courteous thing--come to the line next to them and take the next person in line. Instead they just holler "I'm open!" and then those behind me, who have waited less, run over there. No common courtesy either on the party of the customers or the employees. I blame the stores and management. When I sacked groceries and later became a checker/cashier in my teens were were taught to do it the right way.
It is also amazing to see cashiers routinely walk away from their station with their light on to go and talk to their coworkers. You make eye contact, pause, and even go up to their station but they keep talking.
More and more I see the supervisors on the front end talking to their boyfriends or on their cellphones. Next time I should just do the old grocery standby, "Cleanup on aisle 4!"
So what does this all mean? Should I fall to my knees in the parking lot like Charlton Heston on the beach in The Planet of the Apes? Should I stand there in the bread aisle with tears streaming down my face and sob uncontrollably like when Spock died in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan? Nah. But it does show how society has degraded and as Stephen King said "the world has moved on." Just accept it.
Man I miss paper bags too...
