Hug? Read on and allow me to present my case. Let's first begin with an admission: cargo pants are predominantly a guy thing just as capris are for women.
First, the obvious reasons for its greatness. Soldiers used the pockets to store food and ammunition. Easily accessible, the pockets on each leg today can hold a variety of things. Wallets, I-Pods, IPhones, wallets, money--those are the usual and expected.
Cargo pants also save one money Food from home or a fast food restaurant can be smuggled in to concerts, movies, sports games, amusement parks, etc. Heck, one can pretty much take dinner for 4 in with them, if you don't mind the searing heat on your leg of a Big Mac and fries. I once took a whole bag of microwave popcorn into a theater--half in one leg pocket and half in another. I'm sure the ticket taker thought I had some type of medical condition or problem with water retention but didn't say so. I was prepared to explain my bulging upper legs by telling them I had been working my quads at the gym just like Arnold Swarzenegger in "Pumping Iron."
Cargo shorts take the place of a man having a purse. We all know that some wallets are so thick with credit cards, business cards, gift cards, etc that they given you that uncomfortable butt cramp. Guys with cargo shorts can slim down the wallet or forgo it altogether, depositing their stuff in their side pockets. When people ask you to hold something for them just drop it into a pocket. Men don't need a purse, just a handy pocket to put their crap in. The difference? You can get your crap out of your cargo shorts quicker than a woman having to dig through their purse.
What about the winter when your you are either congested or snot is runnning down your face? Cargo pants to the rescue. Pockets can hold medicines and Kleenex tissue. No need to stop into a store--just load up one or more of your pockets with a 100-count box of Kleenex like a pack mule climbing the slopes of Mt. Kilaminjaro.
Check out NASA TV on your local cable or sattelite provider, of which I am a big fan. Once a day they show coverage of life onboard the International Space Station. See those clothes the astronauts and cosmonauts are wearing? Yep, it's cargo pants and shorts. Even in space you gotta have a place to put your stuff less it float off. They have even upgraded the cargo short by adding trusty veloc strips to the pant. All an astronaut has to do is press a tool to it and walla, it sticks.
I wonder what could have been if these icons had had the miracle of the cargo short afforded to them?
Just imagine if James Bond 007 had had his pair of cargo pants issued to him by Q. What weapons, gadgets, or gizmos could he have hidden? Miniature scuba tank for Thunderball, a spare gun to kill Blofeld in Diamonds are Forever, or a bar of gold from Fort Knox in Goldfinger.
Why didn't Hasbro make cargo pants for G.I. Joe? Jeez, didn't he have enough gear? I can attest to that as I still have my collection filling a room and a closet or two.
Couldn't Dr. McCoy on the original Star Trek have used a pair of cargo shorts or pants? Wasn't he always holding or reaching for a hypo spray holding a cure for some disease? And Captain Kirk could have used a pocket or two for the numbers of all those women he had on the show.
As far as today goes who could benefit from the cargo shorts? How about the leaders of of BP? Hey, how about strolling down the beach yourself and dropping in some of those tar balls and patties into your cargo shorts?
I'll close with a parting epiphany: I'm going to market this conditioning tip as an informercial. Mow the lawn wearing cargo pants with rolls of quarters stuffed in your pockets. The added weight will work your calves, quads, and hamstrings. Where is Billy Mays?
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